Sugar Rush

The new cycle of America’s Next Top Model premiered last Wednesday, amidst criticism that the honor granted to past winners was, in fact, meaningless, and that contestants on the show tend to fail to find the success that the title promises.

Why then do I, and educated and self-respecting woman, love this show so much? Is it because of Tyra Bank’s unintentionally hilarious narcissism? The Jays’ caustic bitchiness? Nigel Barker’s withering criticisms, delivered in his oh-so-sexy accent? No. Perhaps it is just because the show is on right before Lost? Nope. The answer is much simpler than that.

ANTM is eye candy in its most unadulterated form. For one hour pretty, pretty, girls prance around a pretty house, dress up in pretty clothes, take pretty pictures, and get in stupid arguments with each other while making mascara-stained declarations in the ‘confessional booth’ about ‘how badly they want this.’ At the end of the hour, one girl is declared not pretty enough, and is sent home.

What’s not to love? The principal of eye candy applies equally to a stupid show like ANTM and a smartly executed flick like Sophia Coppola’s “Marie Antoinette,” (which I also adored). High culture, low culture; it’s all culture baby. So let them eat cake…just don’t come knocking on the bathroom door afterwards.